What I Want For Christmas

This week in my Scout Meeting, I had my den working on our Christmas Presents to our parents. As we happily worked, I fed the kids mini candy canes, we talked about what Christmas is, and the hopes we have on things we want from Santa Claus this year. This morning, as I thought more about Christmas Morning and the thing I want most from Santa, the only thing I want this year is a gift to help me live to see next Christmas.

I want my cancer to go away, not going into remission, just make it disappear. Make it go away totally and no chance of ever returning. Take away my Parkinson's and Bi-Polar too. I don't want to be sick no more. I want to be totally healthy and to work at a stupid job in a suffocating cubicle and not have weekly doctor appointments. I don't want to have so much time at home that I have the entire reality TV schedule memorized.

I want to be bothered by traffic. I want the headache of trying to get to work on time and having to sit behind a wreck involving a semi-tractor. I want to run out of gas 2 miles before I reach home at the end of the day. I want to work overtime to get home and realize nothing was set out of the freezer for dinner that night. I want to put on the last pair of pantyhose in my drawer to realize halfway to work that there is a run from the knee to the ankle.

I'd like to try to figure out day to day if I want to take lunch with me to the office or do I want the quickest fast food grease pit. I want to get to work and be there for about two and a half hours before I get a phone call from my kid's school telling me he's thrown up all over the gym.

I've often praised how wonderful it is to finally have a profession where I work in my pajamas and I'm able to go to the store at 1 pm if I run out of milk. But to be honest, in a way, it's not all that glamour and fun that I've tried to portray. Most of my days are in pain, sweeping glass off the floor because I've dropped something and broken it. Or spending hour after hour in the bathroom sick as a dog because of Chemo.

Some people have actually said to me how they wanted to be able to do nothing all day but lay about as I do. I actually have to restrain myself from belting them one. How do I do nothing all day when I have a 7 month old puppy at home that wants to spend each hour begging to be let in and out the door? How do I do nothing all day when one day I'm taking Chemo, the next I'm at the psychiatrist, the next I'm at a Neurologist and the next I'm getting ready for a Scouting event? How do I do nothing all day when there's dishes to be done, clothes to be washed, another book to work on, helping my Mother with a dozen things that I do for her each week?

Yeah, I'd like to do nothing all day too, but unfortunately I don't know the meaning of the words “do nothing all day” and no matter how people look at my life, I do more before 6 am than your normal Marine.

So Santa, if your reading this, all I EVER want for this Christmas or Christmases to come is to be TOTALLY ILLNESS FREE!!!!!!!!!! (P.S. I'll leave you cookies –n- cream pudding this year!)

Published on 12/06/2011 in