the art of OUCH!

Several years ago I underwent various tests to find out that my sciatic nerve on the left side is damaged. Ever since, I've been living from day to day in pain. It's like the pain never goes away totally. I've tried everything from patches and ointments to steroid injections into the nerve.

Needless to say, nothing has worked! And to this day, I can't sit more than about 10 minutes at a time without that leg going numb on me.

I can't tell you the countless hours and the money spent from seeing specialist after specialist just to try to get a moments peace. Today, thanks to all the medications they have pumped me full of, my stomach has started to cause me problems and my PCP is telling me that I have damaged that flappy thing at the top of my tummy. Wouldn't you know that the meds that I need for THAT are NOT covered by Medicare? I am drinking glass after glass of Alka Seltzer because it's the only thing I've found that works.

I've started to become jealous of other women my age who I see out and about with their kids and grand-kids and I see how they are able to swing the babies in the parks, they jog, they can walk for more than 5 minutes without tearing up. Other women can wear heels over 1 inch high. Other women can do pilates and yoga, I can do a modified Tae-Chi that a Bhuddist Monk has shown me. I feel like an outcast if I even THINK about getting into a powered chair shopping cart in order to get the groceries that it takes to run my household. I feel stupid for having my 9 year-old bring me cold compresses for my back. I feel like a humpback if I have to ask my 16 year old fix dinner for the family. I can't even get in the floor to enjoy a tea party with my oldest grand-child.

Some days are good days. I can actually sit at the desktop and quickly type out blogs and columns or work on the book. Other times it's normally one of my kids sitting at the desk and me dictating what needs or what I WANT to go into a piece. I should be used to this by now. I've been dealing with this since 2003, but it still makes me feel useless and rather like a burden on my family to have them help me in and out of the bathroom.

And people wonder why I support the legalization nationwide of medical marijuana.....The doubters should spend just two hours in my body, that would fix A TON of medical issues that face our country today....

Published on 09/26/2011 in