Good-Bye Old Friend

On February 24, 2008, I was awoken with a phone call that a hurried voice told me to run to my ex-husband's house and not to bring our son. Little did I know that when I was about half-way there, I would get a phone call from my oldest child telling me to not rush because they are waiting on... THE MEDICAL EXAMINER!!!!

My ex-husband and my co-parent has passed away. He died in his sleep of a blood clot hitting the brain. I know that you medical types know the name of it, but with my history of bad spelling and grammar, I bet you will let me slide with not trying to get that word in this piece.

Sid was 43. Just turned 43 on January 16. Our daughter turned 18 on Sunday, March 2. Our son is 12 and turns 13 in August. I'll be... never you mind!... on October 24. So as you can see, by all the events of this past week, I have really started realizing my own mortality.

I don't think I'll ever forget how he and I met. That night that we met, I was at my best friend's house and her brother was a friend of his. Well Sid came to the house, rang the door-bell and I answered. He asked if the guy was there, when I said "No," I promptly slammed the door into his face. My best friend whipped that door open and told him, "Sid! Don't mind her, she's crazy."

I then spent the next two hours proving to him that I was over 18. Next thing I know, we had moved in together, got married and then our daughter entered into our lives.

That part took years, but at the time, I was young, in love and thought I knew everything about everything.

Things changed, people changed. We just couldn't live together anymore. So we separated. The way that happened isn't a fairy tale, instead it is a true story of pain and torture on everyone's part. I could have handled it better, but when you look back, and hindsight being 20/20. You analyze probably entirely too much into the situation.

But time does have a way for people to grow again, and in the past year, Sid and I came to an understanding about each other. Where we could both fit into our children's lives. There was room for more than one parent. Oh sure, each of us still had a long way to go in compromise when it came to those two kids. But we had come to an understanding on where we stood about each other now and why it could never be again.

To be honest, I think that Sid and I made better friends. And Sid was a great friend to have. He never met a stranger, and even if he didn't know you or have very much money himself, he would bend over backwards to help a person out.

He has two brothers, Mikey and Robbie. A couple of sisters, Ann Louise and Doris. And of course, Mr. Eddie, his step-brother. Then there's Dad and Frannie. And who can ever forget my sweet Momma Jeanie?

Scores and score of friends. Many of which I saw for the first time in about 7 - 8 years. Just to be able to grab this particular set of movers and hug them, brought about a sense of I wasn't alone in this journey with the kids.

Sid was a mover for the majority of his life. He and a good friend of his, owned a moving company for many many years. I did a lot of their booking and book-keeping! But no matter what, this was the group that we ran with, went to concerts with, and even went out camping.

I run with a different crowd now. But I hope that me and some of that gang can still hang out together.

Life is funny. If I would have known even just 9 years ago, how different my life would be today, I wouldn't have believed it. I want to give thanks to God. God, thank you for bringing Sid into my life. Thank you for the children, all three. Thank you for my husband that is so patient, and is due a steak dinner soon. Thank you for my parents, for being there when I need.

But thanks to you, most of all, to share today with those I love!

I'll keep you all informed on the journey from here on out. It's been awhile, I know. Just know that the time I haven't written columns has been spent on other projects!

Published on April 8, 2008 in